5 Monologues

Here goes, the "5 Monologues" entry of this week:

(If you don't know what this is, read the previous entry. Please.)

SUMMER

When I think of summer I always think of being warm and sweaty and gross. I've always hated it. This is Portland and I like it gray and wet. But this year I found that I had probably hated it more than I should have. Like many unpleasant things in life I tend to think and worry about them too much. The real thing of anything is never as bad as the picture in my head. I think there is some benefit in preparing for the worst, but when you spend as much energy stressing out about things as I do, you might need to learn to stop. I learned to embrace the heat this year--well, most of it. I went out to my backyard and sunbathed for a few days, which I enjoyed, until I stopped because of all the unidentifiable minuscule insects that kept flying in my face. And on some of the really hot days I just went out in my undershirt to the waterfront, and to the library where is was air-conditioned. I still don't like the heat, but I did, to a certain degree, enjoyed those days.


RAIN

I loved those rainy fall nights two years ago when I took an amazing night class at PSU. I loved getting out of class when it was dark outside, and when it rained it was only more fun. I remember being cold, shivering in my pea coat, sometimes with and sometimes without an umbrella, walking from the building to my bus stop. During moments like that so many things go on in my head. When I'm alone I'm usually lost in my own thoughts, and amidst an insane atmosphere, my thoughts tend to run wild. Without knowing why, I do cherish those moments. I don't vividly recall what I was thinking about or how I was feeling, but I remember that it felt good, and now, recalling it, makes me feel happy also.


HAIR

I have been cutting my own hair for months. It's difficult, and I'm learning new things every time I do it. I started doing it because I wanted to save money, but now it's more because I enjoyed taking charge of my own look. I know that a barber would be able to do a much better job, but I've been enjoying not depending on them so much that I can never go back, at least not for a long while. There are many things I intend to do on my own, things that I should probably pay people to do for me--but where's the fun in that?


INK

I've recently started keeping a journal in longhand. I gain a sense of pride in looking at the white pages I have filled with my handwriting. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, such that I don't find from blogging or typing. I used to hate my handwriting, but it has improved over times, and looks pretty decent now if I'm in a good mood when I write. A few days ago, when I was on my vacation, an old lady who sat at a table by mine at the restaurant told me it was great to see somebody write with his hand. That made me happy. I secretly hope that I look cool when I write, so that perhaps some younger kids would see me and want to start doing what I do. I think technology is great, but I dread the sights of these people and their iPhones. I don't think half of them have any need for it, and most of them will probably become more and more stupid the more they use that device. I'm not looking forward to the future wherein most of the world's population can't tear their faces away from some sort of a handheld device; that, to me, is the end of civilization.


YELLOW

Yellow is the color of my legal pad. It is also my least favorite color in the world. I don't mind it on a legal pad, or on sticky notes, but you have to pay me extra if you want me to wear yellow. I just don't find it flattering; there may be a shade of yellow that looks good on me, but I have yet to find it. I also don't think it's flattering on other people; I don't recall having seen one person look good in yellow. In fact I don't recall seeing that many people wear yellow. Maybe everybody feels the same way I do about it.


At last it is over, five random monologues about myself. It's harder than I thought--maybe I'm just not inspired enough tonight--but the point is to do it and get it done.