While the main reason I fell in love with "A Boy's Own Story" was Edmund White's superb writing style, I did not fail to recognize the qualities that makes it a great work of literature. The semi-autobiographical novel illustrates the life of a closetted-homosexual boy as he grows up and struggles to find his identity--this is something to which I can relate.The journey of the narrator involves sexual experiences with many men in his life. We don't get to know much about these men; instead we get to know more about the narrator as his character is explored through his experiences with the men. These experiences, instead of enriching his life, torment him further with shame.
The men with whom he is romantically or sexually involved can be roughly divided into two categories. The first are those with whom he falls in love and imagines spending his life. These men are heterosexual, who teaches him the notion of unrequited love, with which he enjoys despite the pain in causes. He stresses several times that he wants to love them but not to actually be with them, because that would make them homosexual and therefore ruins his fantasy. The second category is men who use him for their pleasure. He wants them to, and becomes resentful when he hears of them using other boys and not him. The young narrator is dying for attention, for experience, and not getting it makes him feel worthless. At the same time, getting it doesn't make him feel either, because it doesn't fulfill his fantasy to have a life partner.
The narrator is struggling between two conflicting desires: one in which he lives a picture-perfect life, and one in which he is a vicious seducer who ruins men's lives. Growing gay without a role model can make finding one's identity difficult. Aside from the sexual encounters, the book spends a big portion describing the narrator's exploration of different religions and ways to be spiritual, as well as his attempt to cure his homosexuality. He takes his fate in his own hands and doesn't abide by the rules, which I think is what makes the story so rich. He is daring, driven, and doesn't settle for what is handed down to him.
