"A Boy's Own Story" by Edmund White

While the main reason I fell in love with "A Boy's Own Story" was Edmund White's superb writing style, I did not fail to recognize the qualities that makes it a great work of literature. The semi-autobiographical novel illustrates the life of a closetted-homosexual boy as he grows up and struggles to find his identity--this is something to which I can relate.

The journey of the narrator involves sexual experiences with many men in his life. We don't get to know much about these men; instead we get to know more about the narrator as his character is explored through his experiences with the men. These experiences, instead of enriching his life, torment him further with shame.

The men with whom he is romantically or sexually involved can be roughly divided into two categories. The first are those with whom he falls in love and imagines spending his life. These men are heterosexual, who teaches him the notion of unrequited love, with which he enjoys despite the pain in causes. He stresses several times that he wants to love them but not to actually be with them, because that would make them homosexual and therefore ruins his fantasy. The second category is men who use him for their pleasure. He wants them to, and becomes resentful when he hears of them using other boys and not him. The young narrator is dying for attention, for experience, and not getting it makes him feel worthless. At the same time, getting it doesn't make him feel either, because it doesn't fulfill his fantasy to have a life partner.

The narrator is struggling between two conflicting desires: one in which he lives a picture-perfect life, and one in which he is a vicious seducer who ruins men's lives. Growing gay without a role model can make finding one's identity difficult. Aside from the sexual encounters, the book spends a big portion describing the narrator's exploration of different religions and ways to be spiritual, as well as his attempt to cure his homosexuality. He takes his fate in his own hands and doesn't abide by the rules, which I think is what makes the story so rich. He is daring, driven, and doesn't settle for what is handed down to him.

What I've been reading

In case you think I've been slacking off, I have in fact been reading a whole lot. Here are a few titles that have been occupying my time:

Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne
Having not spent my childhood in the US, I missed out on a lot of great literature for children that my friends grew up with. This is one of those titles. For me to read a book like this, I really have to be in the mood for it, and I was. As an adult I find this book charming. There is a lot of humor that derives from the childlike imagination of the author. It reminds of of what it feels like to be a kid. The characters are adorable and their tales entertaining. I find these elements in children's books necessary for the soul, and am glad I took the time to enjoy it.


All About Love by bell hooks
Bell hooks rubbed me the wrong way when I was first introduced to her work. It took me a while to realize that my judgment as a young scholar was neither valid nor worth holding on to. Many friends of mine had praised the greatness of this book to me, so I thought I should give it a try. The work is insightful and inspiring, and I enjoyed it almost thoroughly. Hooks discusses the common perception of love, and how people choose to express it and the consequences of their expression to themselves, their lovers, and their community. Toward the end the narrative wandered too far off into the endorsement of religion and the supernaturals, which I thought undermined the seriousness of the work. Her intelligence, however, is present throughout, and no matter what your view of love or how much you think you understand the subject, I think you will learn something from this work.

Wit by Margaret Edson
Wouldn't it be nice if we can all write our first play and win a Pulitzer for it? Maybe, but I'd rather not win any award but constantly get my plays produced throughout my life, unlike Edson. "Wit" is her first and only play to date that has been produced on stage, and I wonder what other tricks she has up her sleeves. I didn't find the work particularly genius. It is about an English professor who is dying of ovarian cancer. I'm sure it can be moving if performed well, but I don't find it a great work of drama. I thought the way Edson incorporates into the play her knowledge of John Donne and metaphysical poetry as well as the literary discussion of witticism both amateurish and uninteresting. There are works that make literary references in intelligent ways that make you admire the knowledge of the authors--this is not one of those works. If it were a musical, Andrew Lloyd Webber will probably score it. It wasn't a bore to read, but wasn't particularly a good read either.

"Distance" by Raymond Carver

A few days ago I was having a conversation with my friend Don about Raymond Carver. We expressed our admiration for his work, especially his ability to tell intensely painful stories in a simple writing style. Some writers receive praise for their flowery prose or the complexity of their language, but a series of small paragraphs compacted into a concise story, which gives the same effect as a punch in the stomach or a slap on the face, is no less of an achievement.

Once in a while between reading big books I would read a few stories from my Carver collection, "Where I'm Calling From: Selected Stories"--a classic. Having not done so in a while, and being reminded of it by the conversation, I pulled the book out of the shelf and started reading from where I left off--a story called "Distance."

In the story, a father recounts to his daughter the story of when she was a baby, on the night when her parents were kept awake by her crying. It is about the relationship of a young, impoverished couple and the emotional struggle in their relationship. It is also about the mortality of love, which is a theme that I have seen in his other stories. What I like about it is the way he portrays a troubled relationship while hinting that there is another side of the story that isn't being told. While all we see is two people fighting, we also know that there are days when they are happy together, even though he doesn't tell us about it--it is integrated into the fight, as if they fight to show their love and longing for each other. While I don't like that he portrays the female character as the hysterical mother, I feel he does justice to motherhood anxiety and the feeling of being left behind to do all the work alone.

I have no conclusion for this. It's a good story. Get the book. Read the stories.

"Cinnamon Skin" by Edmund White

This is my first Edmund White, and a tragically beautiful short story. It is written to seem autobiographical, but as always we should never make that assumption. Besides, there is always some degree of fabrication in all autobiographies.

The story begins with the narrator introducing himself and the people in his life. Many characters are introduced, and it seems at first like a great opening chapter of a novel. The characters are developed through small events, told in flashbacks. Later, the story turn to its main event, which is the narrator's trip to Acapulco with his father and stepmother, and turns into a story about sexual discovery.

The way the narrator sees the world helps us to see who he is. There are moments when nothing monumental happens, but so much about the character is realized through his commentary about gender roles and stems from his interactions with other characters, and sometimes through his sexual arousal caused by the sights of men he sees throughout the story. How often do writers ask themselves what important event they can come up with so that they can have a great story and develop a great character? Sometimes, when the character already exists vividly in our mind, all we have to do is to let him live and so much will be revealed. The way he sees things can show us who he is, and the things he believes in can affect the way he lives his life and the relationships he has with others.

White uses very few dialogues, yet the story moves quickly and is captivating throughout. Nobody would think to ask if there are too many or too few dialogues if there are the right amount of them. I don't think there is one amount that is appropriate for every story; these things need to come naturally. White seems to let the dialogues emerge naturally, and the voices of the main characters sound clearly to me even though they are heard so rarely.

As is clearly demonstrated in this story, White is a superb writer. Aside from being a great craftsman, he also has a poetic voice and a shameless honesty that is required in order to fill his fiction with truth. I highly recommend "Cinnamon Skin."

"A Farewell to Arms" by Ernest Hemingway

I feel like I always have to find a new way to write about the book I have just read. Each time it is a struggle. Usually if something about the work really moves me, then it is that very thing that takes the focus in my response to the work. But a lot of time I have to ask myself what it is that I can write about the work. Sometimes the simplest question such as what is the book about is very tough to answer.

I thoroughly enjoy reading "A Farewell to Arms," mostly because of the writing style. Hemingway's prose is simple yet poetic. He keeps the story moving all the time while making every scene and every emotion very vivid in the readers' mind. He has a way of describing a lot of things without wearing the readers out.

It is a story about World War I, and at the heart of it is a love story between Frederic Henry, the narrator who is most often referred to as "Tenente," and Catherine Barkley, his nurse. The novel portrays the soldiers' mentality superbly; what I find lacking is the emotional effect in the love story. Despite being inspired by Hemingway's own affair, I don't feel moved by the love story. Too often I found myself unsure of the love they felt for each other. Most of the scenes in this novel, including the scenes between the two lovers, are constructed with one spoken line after another with barely any narrations incorporated into the dialogues. That might have made the romance more believable and effective.

Despite not being completely enthralled by the story or the characters, I find the writing style infectious, making me want to read more of Hemingway's works soon. I didn't mention that this is my first Hemingway. It is a surprise I had waited this long. I have been spending most of my time reading British literature and missing out on a lot of American goods. Now that I'm not in school anymore I'm learning to give myself more freedom to explore the world of literature. I don't think my ever-growing list of books to be read immediately, or books I should have read years ago, or books I have been wanting to read in forever, will ever end. My life will before it does.

“The Road” was my first Cormac MacCarthy, and certainly it will not be the last. I picked it up for two reasons: 1) I’ve been trying to read more contemporary works, and; 2) a few years ago everybody seems to be reading this book, and I had heard great things. I knew the style was going to be unconventional, and that the plot was going to be depressing. Already I anticipated having a hard time with it.

As it turned out, however, it only took a few pages to get me completely into it. MacCarthy’s prose was eloquent and moving. I didn’t have a hard time with his refusal to use dialogue tags or quotation marks, because he wrote so well it was clear what was going on at every moment. The story doesn’t really go anywhere, but there is something fascinating in watching the characters live and survive among the unusual and seemingly impossible circumstances. I don’t particularly sympathize with the characters; what is captivating is how they deal with the situations, and what they reveal about themselves as they face challenges.

I have had conversations with people who are turned off by writing styles that aren’t easily accessible. I, too, am not particularly fond of unconventionality, especially when it seems forced or unreasonable. I don’t think that is the case with “The Road,” even though I can’t exactly explain why it had to be written this way, nor do I think MacCarthy has an answer for that. But the thought that occurred in my head as I was reading it was that somebody had to write like this—that there cannot be only one way to write the novel. Readers shouldn’t set any expectation on what the pages should look like when they open the book. It should always be an adventure to discover what style the author chooses to employ in order to tell a particular story. Because I didn’t have a hard time with the style in which this book was written, I appreciated it, not because I thought it was genius, but because the form must constantly change and grow in order for it to survive, and because somebody found a way to change it and make it work superbly.

"Desire Under the Elms" by Eugene O'Neil

There are few things as effective as sex in art. Because it is so primitive in humans, it appeals to the majority of people. It seems that when picking sex as a subject of a work of art, you already have half of your work cut out for you. That doesn't mean, however, that writing about sex requires no effort. Just because something has the power to affect people doesn't mean that the people are going to want to touch it. I personally don't read erotica—it's not on my bookshelf or reading list, even though I have no doubt that it could be pleasurable. I don't read for the purpose of getting pleasure or getting turned on, but for education. Therefore any books that use sex as a subject would have to use it in a certain way that will educate me in some ways.

Because I often write about sex, it is interesting to look at how other writers write about sex. A lot of times I find that descriptions of sexual desire or sexual activities serve as a good device that writers use to reveal something about the characters. In “Desire Under the Elms,” Eugene O'Neil demonstrates how sex can be used to develop both plots and characters.

The main characters in this play are driven by their desire for each other. Eben, the youngest son of Ephraim Cabot, shows strong hatred for his father's new young wife, Abbie. At the same time he is unable to deny his feelings for her. She, too, is interested in him, though her intention is less conspicuous. Once their desire is realized, they are on the road toward their downfalls.

The play is about sex because it shows are the desire begins, progresses, and subsequently ends the story. It shows the power of sex to control actions and emotions. The play is based on a Greek myth, so that love and sexual desire are relatively interchangeable. Eben and Abbie may not love each other in a sensible sense, but they do in this tradition of storytelling.

The main struggle of the characters is not adultery but themselves and their lacks of trust in each other. Eben thinks that Abbie is using him to get the house, and Abbie, in an attempt to prove herself, ends up murdering her own child. In this way, the play doesn't steer from its course—it doesn't change the subject to the struggle between desire and society, but stays with the struggle between desire and self. It is their desire that brings them to their ruins.

This play is a bit of a melodrama, and is perhaps less interesting now than at the time of its publication. It is also probably more interesting to see than to read. I almost feel as if it has to be staged out of this world in order to make the audience believe in the story. I will recommend it for its prominence in American literature rather than for its entertaining quality.